Interests:cycling aimlessly, stargazing, swimming, backpacking, staring at cloud formations, daydreaming, anything to do with music, etc. Expertise:being me. Occupation:Student
I have very high patience level. Hence, you seldom see me being frustrated, annoyed or grumpy over something that keep me waiting. In term of relationship, in fact, I don't mind waiting...Many may have said that long distance relationship will not work. Even worst if it started when we are both far apart from each other. But, somehow, I'm sure with sprinkles of faith, trust and love, nothing will tear us down.
Tolerance has its limits. And once something has reached a certain extend; quarrels, arguments, conflicts and misunderstandings will occur. No doubt, both sides will blame each other of what that has happened in the past and present.
Tolerance and patience are not enough. Both sides need to be understanding towards each other. But...how to be understanding when we are both total opposites of each other :S ? They say opposites attract, isn't it? We are opposites. Though we are struggling hard but we are surviving and will always be. :)
P/S : Forgive me for the broken English. My mind can't seem to think right now. Everything is contradicting, I know.
This may be the last time I convey my thoughts for public viewing due to unforeseen circumstances. So long. Adieu. :'(
Recently, my good friend's mother passed away. I was devastated even though I have only seen and spoken to her mum for a couple of times. But, I can't help but feeling remorsed at the thought of her mum leaving this world at such a young age. As I cycled to my friend's house, I shuddered at the thought of seeing my friend. What should I do? What should I say? These two questions keep spinning in my mind. I can feel string of tears start spilling as my feet pedalled on. I wiped them off hastily, vowing not to let my friend to see that in fear that she will be even more upset. My mind was in in total frenzy. I have no idea what to utter. I'm so worried that what I say may end up hurting her feelings. When I reached her humble abode and parked my bike, I walked towards her and her mum's coffin. Beads of perspiration were wetting my back. My hands were shaking. My legs were wobbly. After paying respect to her mum, I sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk with her. Thank goodness she's stronger than I imagine. Or...maybe she was just trying to look fine. Through all her seemingly-happy face, I can feel that she's really depressed. Who wouldn't? If her friends are already so sad, what about her? It was a shocking piece of news for me. It happened so sudden and from this tragic incident, I know I must love and care for my loved ones because you will never know what happen. What future lies ahead of us is so unpredictable...What if you wake up one day and you found out that there are no more tomorrows for you. So, don't make yourself regret for not doing or saying something to your loved ones, For the ones who are avid readers of my blog, I bet they know I have written two similar entries of the fact that we must treasured our loved ones...
There are a lot of times when I chant to myself some kind of a weird mantra e,g "I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.There's no big deal" to boost some confidence within myself and to provide myself with comfort me of what that that is pressurizing me. Why do i do that? What is all the incantation all about? Is it because I'm very much lack of confidence? Thus, I need to keep repeating that particular mantra? Does that make me someone who is very weak at the inside but keep telling myself that i'm a toughie? Hurmm...confusing...I have no idea what has compelled me to jot down things here. But, somehow, there is a mix bag of feelings that conjured in my mind. I have always been portrayed as someone who is very independant, confident and outspoken. But, maybe I'm not. I'm just trying to be one. No matter how independant I am, I still need someone to lend their shoulders to lean on when I'm seriously down. No matter how confident I look, there will be times I try to fake it out. No matter how outspoken I am, I prefer to keep quiet at times.
Anticipation always hurts. I detest anticipating. I have rather get over something than waiting for the something to happen. Because, that will make me a nervous wreck. During anticipation, there are always private mantras that keep me at the right tracks. No matter how scared or nervous I am, private mantras always help to calm myself down. I guess it's something that helps to regain my composure.
urgh...what i say always contradict...and in the end, i confused myself...even worst, i confused others.
